I've been going back and forth in my mind about whether or not I want to expose the meaning behind the Temple song and video. Part of me wants to keep the entire thing a secret, but part of me also yearns for people to get to know me better as an artist. This is the main reason for this diary(other than the obvious goal of venting my struggles in a constructive way in hopes to help others get through their own struggles).
The fact of the matter is, Temple, is the first story of many more to come. Each video will continue on from the one preceding it with an ongoing storyline. I'm pulling from a vast array of life experiences and it's really the culmination of so many things.
Years ago I lived in Haiti for a few months. It's a long story but I've always been drawn to culture of all different types. While growing up, I was obsessed with learning about foreign culture and International travel..
My first experience out of the country was visiting Germany at 12 years old, next was when I lived in Jamaica for a summer at 16 years old. I've always been into Caribbean culture and food specifically, because before I fell head first into House music, I was a Reggae girl. I grew up on the beaches of Florida and most of my friends were from the Caribbean, they were the ones I chose to be around.
And, my soccer coach, as well as one of my best friends, were both from Haiti.
Because of this I was exposed to Caribbean culture early on. By the time I was 23, I had already visited Jamaica, Haiti, Antigua, Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic, not to mention Germany. I love experiencing new cultures!
But to this day, Haiti has had the most profound effect on me. There were things that happened to me there that only my closest friends know about, things you don't really discuss with people regularly. If I ever end up writing a book, that is when I will get into details about my experiences there. For now, let's just say it changed my life, mostly for the better..
I had some spiritual experiences there that left profound marks on my soul. I was also imparted with knowledge I couldn't have received in any other way, had I not lived there.
What was I doing there, you ask? Well, it's a secret..
Temple is the culmination of the convictions that arose from these experiences, mixed with deeply personal visions and beliefs regarding reincarnation, all intertwined with the mental anguish I endured over the past 4 years(more on this in future posts).
In addition to what I just mentioned above, there is also a strong undercurrent of my disgust with the music industry coming out in its own cathartic manner via the Temple video and esthetic.
After all that I had went through, I suddenly began having this overpowering urge to become a ghost. The music industry made me feel like a ghost anyway, and as you can see in the video, my predominant look is one of death; monotone, neutral, almost transparent.
This is where my obsession with veils began. I wanted to disappear.
There's only one thing I like more than wearing a proper hoodie; and that's wearing a shiny veil.
The ghost and the veil - the look of macabre transparency; my answer to a music industry obsessed with image, social media stats, and spiritual vacancy, and also(yet ironically), the corporate exploitation of spirituality as a means to make money(this is one of the hardest ones for me to deal with at the moment, namely in the dance music community).
I didn't want to look like a movie star in Temple. I wanted to look like a dead person, a mirage, a mutable spirit. We have enough pop stars, wannabe super star dj's, and pointless Instagram celebrities.
I'd rather be the ghost singing in the graveyard about all the lives I've lived..
I'd rather wear a veil.